Confronted with Earthquakes

Disillusionment. I've never actually been in an earthquake but I would imagine that there is a lot of questioning going on right before it hits; when you feel the ground began to quake beneath your feet. When everything you thought you knew takes a turn for the worst and it begins to hit the surface. 

This was last semester for me in a nutshell. I thought I knew what was going on, I thought I had everything under control and all together. But then the ground started to shake beneath my feet and I couldn't handle it. I've confided in a few friends that last semester there was a lot of crying, a lot of questioning, and a whole lot of attitude that didn't belong there. I couldn't explain it, I just felt like a complete failure to myself, my friends, my family, and most of all to God. 

It wasn't until this Wednesday that I started to figure out what had happened. I went to the college worship service and our pastor explained some of the phases of life that we go through as Christians. Now I won't reteach the entire thing but I will tell you that it shed a lot of light and truth to what I went through last semester and what I am going through today. 

One of the times he described as an earthquake. An earthquake is when all of the junk that you've tried to push away comes back up to the surface and you just want to shove it back down and pretend that everything is okay. It when all of our sins and flaws come to the light and Satan tries to use that to guilt us into thinking that we are failures and that we are useless. That is exactly how I felt last semester. I just kept thinking of my sin and how unworthy I was to call myself a follower of Christ. Then I was confronted with more and more of my faults and all I could do was wallow in it. I couldn't even bring myself to pray anymore because I thought He was so disgusted with me that there was no way He could even look at me anymore. 

What a lie! 

 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. ~Romans 8:38-39

¹⁸ Where is another God like you,
    who pardons the guilt of the remnant,
    overlooking the sins of his special people?
You will not stay angry with your people forever,
    because you delight in showing unfailing love.
¹⁹ Once again you will have compassion on us.
    You will trample our sins under your feet
    and throw them into to depths of the Ocean! ~Micah 7:18-19

For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son, who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins. ~Colossians 1:13-14 

And these are only a few of many many more. But here is the best part. As our pastor pointed out, God doesn't just rock our world with an earthquake and then leave us there. We have been confronted with everything that we've have been trying to sweep under the rug as no big deal. We have been hit with the lies of Satan telling us we are not good enough. But it's all to realize that God is our Rock and our Salvation. He is the foundation beneath our feet. 

“Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand.When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.” ~Matthew 7:24-27

Our house is built on a rock, not sand. We have nothing to fear. The earthquake will not overwhelm us as long as we hold fast to our refuge. 

¹ God is our refuge and strength,
    always ready to help in times of trouble.
² So we will not fear when earthquakes come
    and the mountains crumble into the sea.
³ Let the oceans roar and foam.
    Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge! ~Psalms 46:1-3

The theme of this message was that along our journey, there is a river flowing beneath the surface. A river of the power and presence of God that we can tap into at anytime. As believers, we can access the living water of Christ. 

 On the last day, the climax of the festival, Jesus stood and shouted to the crowds, “Anyone who is thirsty may come to me! Anyone who believes in me may come and drink! For the Scriptures declare, ‘Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.’”  ~John 7:37-38

During the "earthquake" I was so thirsty for a taste of the spirit. I wanted so much to feel his presence and his power wash over me and all my sin and shame. I felt so unstable, both emotionally and spiritually. It took me a long time to realize that God is my Rock and my Salvation. I didn't have to succumb to the shaking beneath my feet. We build our foundation, our faith, on His word and His truth. I never have to be thirsty for the Spirit is our living water that ALWAYS satisfies us.

I didn't want to be in the earthquake. I wanted to go back to the way things were and pretend everything was okay and that my sins were not a big deal. I didn't want to acknowledge all the junk that I had let build up beneath the surface. When everything finally came to light I wanted to go back into the darkness where I was still in control. Now, acknowledging and confessing my sins, I look back a realize how much I needed the Earthquake. All summer I could feel God nudging me and telling me that I had some problems that we needed to work out. I wouldn't listen. It took an earthquake, having to see everything coming at me at once, to see it. It was a painful realization, but I am so thankful that God was there with me. You see, the very crack that threatens to break you, God will send living water to fight against it. To fight against all the lies that Satan tries to throw at you, to fight against all the evil that threatens to overwhelm you. Even more so to partner with you to work through and fight against all the sins and the shame that keep you from His presence and His perfect will. 

That's where I am right now; partnering with the Spirit to try to clean house. It's a truly difficult and rewarding process but I'll have to save the details for another post. 

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. 

~Romans 15:13