It's Time to Die (Forgiven and Free- Part 2)

Okay, so we're forgiven. We are no longer slaves to sin....awesome.

Now what?

I would love to say that once you've accepted His forgiveness, everything is good and you'll no longer struggle with that sin.

But I can't.

Which is why, to be completely honest, I've been putting off writing this blog.

Sometimes Christianity is portrayed as a prosperity gospel. "Add Jesus to your life and everything will get better. You'll be successful, you won't struggle, you'll be liked by everyone...yada, yada, yada."

Really?

Where in the bible did someone come out like that for following Christ? The apostles were either executed, crucified, hung, burned, beheaded, flayed, beaten, stoned, and one of them was exiled. They were hated and persecuted for believing in Christ as the Son of God just as many of the early Christians were.

I don't know about you, but to me that's not better. That's worse...waayyyyy worse.

Adding Jesus to your life doesn't make it easier, not if you're really in this thing. It makes it harder.

The reason I'm saying this is because I don't want my last post to mislead anyone. Yes, every sin is forgiven. Yes, God gives us grace upon grace. But, that doesn't mean we can keep on sinning and it definitely doesn't mean that the sin in our lives will automatically disappear.

It's been my experience that Christianity has become a "pray the prayer and go to church on Sunday" thing. That's how I've lived it out most of the time anyways. But, the more and more I read the bible, the more and more I look at how Jesus lived, how the apostles lived, and how the early Christians lived, I can't help but see a huge difference between their conversions and mine.

They changed radically.

It's crazy because Jesus even spells it out for us in the bible.

Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. Matthew 16:24-25

A large crowd was following Jesus. He turned around and said to them, “If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple. And if you do not carry your own cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple. Luke 14:25-27

We literally have to give up our lives. Our WHOLE lives. Every single bit of it. We have to die to ourselves to become a disciple. We have to sacrifice ourselves to be a true follower of Christ.

"You will be hated by all because of My name, but it is the one who has endured to the end who will be saved. Matthew 10:22

We will be hated.

How's that for a prosperity gospel?

Add Jesus to your life and you will be hated and you will have to die.

There's something you don't hear everyday.

When did Christianity become easy? When did we sugarcoat it so much that it became something that we can just throw into our day whenever we want? A little bit here, a little bit there, throw some good works and church in and everything's fine.

If you can't tell, I'm a little on edge. I've been struggling with how to combat sin all summer and I was really excited to be able to share it with you once I figured it out. Well, I know the answer now, but it's not the one I wanted to hear.

 I have to die.

 I don't want to. I don't want to give up my desires, my earthy dreams, my comforts. I don't want to surrender every area of my life to God.

But, that's what this is. It's living for something bigger than yourself. It's living your life for Him because he loved you first, because He sacrificed first, because He died first. And he did it for you.

God never promises that our lives will be easy. However, he does promise that He will be with us every step of the way, that He will carry our burdens, and that it will all be worth it.

"Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand." Isaiah 41:10

"Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall." Psalm 55:22

"Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later." Romans 8:18

"I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world." John 16:33

The truth is that being a Christian is the hardest thing you will ever have to do. It will cost you everything. That's not something the pastor usually says at the invitation, but it is something Jesus said from the get go.

Thankfully, he didn't just end it there. Jesus came to give us an abundant, fulfilling life. So, while it won't be easy, it will be completely and utterly worth it. God created us so that nothing will satisfy us except Himself. I really love how CS Lewis phrases it:

In the next few posts I'll be hashing out what it looks like, in my life at least, to surrender. Battles will be fought and messes will be made, but most of all, God will be glorified. So what do you say?

It's time to die.

Forgiven and Free - Part 1

As Christians we are all familiar with the word forgiven. We have heard the words grace and redemption over and over again. So much so that sometimes, I wonder if we've lost what they actually mean. How much that actually cost. We always get told by our parents not to take things for granted. Can you take grace, forgiveness, and redemption for granted? I believe so.

I have been stuck in a cycle of sin for a long time. Over a year, even over two years. It has crippled me on the inside, though on the outside I look the same. It starts with desire, our own desire for pleasure, our own desire to be rebellious. Then it progresses to conception, birth, maturity and eventually death. As one of my favorite pastors, Neil McClendon says, "We have desires that can get so big and powerful they entice us and eventually kill us spiritually." Have you ever felt spiritual dying?

"Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death." James 1: 14-15

The bible has so many verses about our sinful selves. I almost lived in them this past year.

"Throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God- truly righteous and holy." Ephesians 4:9

"We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin. And since we died with Christ, we know we will also live with him. We are sure of this because Christ was raised from the dead, and he will never die again. Death no longer has any power over him. When he died, he died once to break the power of sin. But now that he lives, he lives for the glory of God. So you also should consider yourselves to be dead to the power of sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus." Romans 6:6-11

I am no longer a slave to sin. I am free from its power. So why do I keep living in it?

"Deliberate sin shrinks the soul, wringing vitality from it. Shame is the lingering echo of a guilty conscious." -Douglas J

"What is the joy set before you that makes sin not as joyful?" - Neil McClendon.

Because I love the feeling sin gives me over obeying God. Because I seek temporary pleasure rather than eternal joy in Christ.

When you realize your stuck in a cycle of sin. When you realize that you're consistently choosing an idol over God, and disobeying him over and over again....what do you do?

Well, if you're me, you get stuck in a cycle of sin and guilt and shame.

I was so ashamed. I felt so unclean, so filthy, so dirty. I couldn't even bring myself to pray. How could He even look at me? When I blatantly, deliberately disobey Him. There was no way. I felt hopeless and unloved. So I continued further in sin because there was no way out.

You know, they teach you about grace and forgiveness your whole life. But let me tell you..

 It doesn't actually hit you until you realize how much you need it...

Until you realize how broken you actually are. Until you're on your face before the Lord knowing that there is nothing that makes you deserve His love. Nothing that made you worthy of His son's sacrifice. Until you realize how truly desperate you are and that you can do nothing apart from Him.

Then it's real.

"For by that one offering he forever made perfect those who are being made holy. And the Holy Spirit also testifies that this is so. For he says, This is the new covenant I will make with my people on that day, says the Lord. I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds. Then he says I will never again remember their lawless deeds." Hebrews 10:14-17

"He forever made perfect those who are being made holy."

When we accept Christ into our lives and make Him first, he makes us perfect. We are holy and blameless in his sight. Because when he looks at us, he sees the blood of Jesus. Not our sin. Our position in Christ is permanent. But, as with all things, sanctification is a process. We are being transformed day by day to be more like Christ, to be who God has called each of us to be. It's a messy process and we are going to mess it up a lot. But God has a reputation of taking our messes and turning them into something beautiful. And, as it says in the scriptures, he will carry His good work out to completion. Including our sanctification.

"For God's will was for us to be made holy by the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ, once for all time." Hebrews 10:10

Once for all time. Jesus didn't just die for one sin. He died for EVERY sin. He died for every sin that you have ever committed and every sin that you ever will.

"From his fullness, we have all received grace upon grace." James 1:17

Grace upon grace. Let that sink in a moment.

"The more time we are a Christian, the less real grace becomes. If you take grace in vain, you lose joy in your life." - Neil McClendon

Stop and think. Of all the sin you have ever committed and all you ever will. It's washed away. We have been forgiven past, present, and future. Praise the Lord! Let us be joyful because our Lord has given us grace upon grace and has removed our sins as far as the east is from the west! How great and merciful and loving is our God?! How forgiving is He who will never again remember our lawless deeds?

1 John 1: 9 "But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness."

Matthew 26:28 "for this is my blood, which confirms the covenant between God and his people. It is poured out as a sacrifice to forgive the sins of many."

Col 1:13-14 "For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son, who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins."

Romans 8:1 "So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus."

We have already been forgiven. It's our choice whether or not we chose to receive it. "Repentance is what people who have already been forgiven practice" - Chris Brooks. We have already been forgiven.

Everyone can be forgiven for everything through Christ Jesus.

It's our decision to accept that forgiveness and then repent and turn away from our sin.

All those times when I couldn't bring myself to talk to Him. When the shame was crippling me from the inside out. When my sin was eating me alive....

He was right there saying "Come to me my wayward child, and I will heal your wayward heart." -Jeremiah 3:22. He was saying that He loved me, that He hurt with me, that He longed for me to draw near to Him.

"And so, dear brothers and sisters, we can boldly enter heaven’s Most Holy Place because of the blood of Jesus. By his death, Jesus opened a new and life-giving way through the curtain into the Most Holy Place. And since we have a great High Priest who rules over God’s house, let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ’s blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water." Hebrews 10: 19-22

I'm not perfect, I'm forgiven. I can go boldly before the father, having my guilty conscience cleansed with Christ's blood to make me clean. And, because I know grace and forgiveness, I can count Christ as the joy set before me. The joy that surpasses the pleasures of my sinful nature. It's not easy by any means, but "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.". I can't combat sin on my own, only with the power of God. And He will be by my side the whole way.

Look for part two coming up soon....

Again I say Rejoice: Letting go of worry

Anxiety and stress have been my constant companion for many years. My planner is filled with list of things to do and what I should get done each day. The minute the university put classes up for the next semester, I began planning my schedule. I've had my four years of college planned out since freshman year. That's what I do. I plan. I plan for everything; I want to know what I'm doing when and how long it will take.

Being organized is absolutely fine. There's nothing wrong with writing down your homework so you won't forget, or making a to do list. It's when you want to be in control of your whole life that things get messy. As a planner, the unknown terrifies me. The future is one huge question mark that I can't pencil in. I can try to figure everything out: graduate, this grad school, this job, this kind of lifestyle, this kind of family life. 

But, there's this thing called life. 

It's unpredictable and spontaneous. 

It's beautiful and painful. 

And it doesn't follow your plan. 

Worry typically comes in the unknown. Worrying about a grade or a test in a class, worrying about the outcome of an interview, worrying about who you're going to spend the rest of your life with, your career, your relationships...the list goes on and on. The truth is that if we knew the outcome, we wouldn't be worried. If you knew for a fact you were going to get an A on the test, ace the interview, marry Suzy, get hired at such and such, be best friends with John forever, have a house and whatever else, why would you worry? You already know. 

But, we don't know. I began reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan a couple of days ago (I highly recommend it) and something he said in chapter two rocked my world. In the bible, it tells us 

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philippians 4:6

It doesn't just say "hey, you probably shouldn't worry. It's bad for your health." It say DO NOT be anxious about ANYTHING." The bible commands us not to worry. Wait a second God, you don't understand. I have so much I have to do right now. My life feels like it's falling apart, I don't know what's going to happen in this situation. I can't help but to worry. 

Here is another command from the bible. "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" Again, it doesn't end with rejoice only if everything is going according to plan in your life. It doesn't end with rejoice unless you're doing something really important. It says ALWAYS. Here is what Francis says....

"When I am consumed by my problems--stressed out about my life, my family, and my job--I actually convey the belief that I think the circumstances are more important than God's command to always rejoice. In other words, that I have a "right" to disobey God because of the magnitude of my responsibilities." 

Ouch. To be honest, I have never really thought of it that way. Worry as disobedience. He also says this...

"Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives.

Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control

Basically, these two behaviors communicate that it's okay to sin and not trust God because the stuff in my life is somehow exceptional. Both worry and stress reek of arrogance. They declare our tendency to forget that we've been forgiven, that our lives here are brief, that we are headed to a place where we won't be lonely, afraid, or hurt ever again, and that in the context of God's strength, our problems are small indeed." 

I don't know about anyone else, but I had to seriously take a step back when I read that. My worry is a lack of trust that God won't take care of me. 

That the God who created the universe, 

For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. Colossians 1:16

who knew me before I was born, 

The word of the Lord came to me, saying, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:4-5

who knows everything about me, 

You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before,  and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Psalms 139: 1 - 6

who sent His only son to die for me so that I could have a relationship with Him, 

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

who forgives my sins, 

as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. Psalms 103:12

who calls me daughter, beloved, his bride, his heir, his precious child

 See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. . 1 John 3:1

whose love I cannot be separated from 

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:37-39

That this God won't take care of me. 

Who do I think I am? Have I completely forgotten who God is? God holds the world, my life is in his hands. Why would I worry?

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

He knows my future, he has plans for me that far surpass my own. What have I to be afraid of? 

 Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10 

We have nothing to fear, nothing to be afraid of. Our God is so trustworthy, more than anyone on this Earth. What could we possibly have to worry about in this life? Our God will provide, he will satisfy, he will sustain, he will take care of our deepest needs and desires. Trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will keep your paths straight. I know I've posted a ton of bible verses, but they just keep coming. And I know there's a reason for it. God has shown through scripture and in our lives today that he is GOOD, he is TRUSTWORTHY, he is CAPABLE, he is POWERFUL, and he is LOVE. How could he not take care of our worries? 

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?" Matthew 6: 25 - 30 

I believe there there is nothing left to do but rejoice. I will say it again: REJOICE! Our God is for us. We have nothing to fear! Rejoice in the Lord. Be filled with joy, just as he rejoices over us..

The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. Zephaniah 3:17 

Time to let go of the illusion of control, time to let go of the stress and worries of our lives and rest. Rest in God. Rest in his abounding grace and steadfast love. Quit worrying. Let go and let God. 

With Love