I have been stuck in a cycle of sin for a long time. Over a year, even over two years. It has crippled me on the inside, though on the outside I look the same. It starts with desire, our own desire for pleasure, our own desire to be rebellious. Then it progresses to conception, birth, maturity and eventually death. As one of my favorite pastors, Neil McClendon says, "We have desires that can get so big and powerful they entice us and eventually kill us spiritually." Have you ever felt spiritual dying?
"Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death." James 1: 14-15
The bible has so many verses about our sinful selves. I almost lived in them this past year.
"Throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God- truly righteous and holy." Ephesians 4:9
"We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin. And since we died with Christ, we know we will also live with him. We are sure of this because Christ was raised from the dead, and he will never die again. Death no longer has any power over him. When he died, he died once to break the power of sin. But now that he lives, he lives for the glory of God. So you also should consider yourselves to be dead to the power of sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus." Romans 6:6-11
I am no longer a slave to sin. I am free from its power. So why do I keep living in it?
"Deliberate sin shrinks the soul, wringing vitality from it. Shame is the lingering echo of a guilty conscious." -Douglas J
"What is the joy set before you that makes sin not as joyful?" - Neil McClendon.
Because I love the feeling sin gives me over obeying God. Because I seek temporary pleasure rather than eternal joy in Christ.
When you realize your stuck in a cycle of sin. When you realize that you're consistently choosing an idol over God, and disobeying him over and over again....what do you do?
Well, if you're me, you get stuck in a cycle of sin and guilt and shame.
I was so ashamed. I felt so unclean, so filthy, so dirty. I couldn't even bring myself to pray. How could He even look at me? When I blatantly, deliberately disobey Him. There was no way. I felt hopeless and unloved. So I continued further in sin because there was no way out.
You know, they teach you about grace and forgiveness your whole life. But let me tell you..
It doesn't actually hit you until you realize how much you need it...
Until you realize how broken you actually are. Until you're on your face before the Lord knowing that there is nothing that makes you deserve His love. Nothing that made you worthy of His son's sacrifice. Until you realize how truly desperate you are and that you can do nothing apart from Him.
Then it's real.
"For by that one offering he forever made perfect those who are being made holy. And the Holy Spirit also testifies that this is so. For he says, This is the new covenant I will make with my people on that day, says the Lord. I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds. Then he says I will never again remember their lawless deeds." Hebrews 10:14-17
"He forever made perfect those who are being made holy."
When we accept Christ into our lives and make Him first, he makes us perfect. We are holy and blameless in his sight. Because when he looks at us, he sees the blood of Jesus. Not our sin. Our position in Christ is permanent. But, as with all things, sanctification is a process. We are being transformed day by day to be more like Christ, to be who God has called each of us to be. It's a messy process and we are going to mess it up a lot. But God has a reputation of taking our messes and turning them into something beautiful. And, as it says in the scriptures, he will carry His good work out to completion. Including our sanctification.
"For God's will was for us to be made holy by the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ, once for all time." Hebrews 10:10
Once for all time. Jesus didn't just die for one sin. He died for EVERY sin. He died for every sin that you have ever committed and every sin that you ever will.
"From his fullness, we have all received grace upon grace." James 1:17
Grace upon grace. Let that sink in a moment.
"The more time we are a Christian, the less real grace becomes. If you take grace in vain, you lose joy in your life." - Neil McClendon
Stop and think. Of all the sin you have ever committed and all you ever will. It's washed away. We have been forgiven past, present, and future. Praise the Lord! Let us be joyful because our Lord has given us grace upon grace and has removed our sins as far as the east is from the west! How great and merciful and loving is our God?! How forgiving is He who will never again remember our lawless deeds?
1 John 1: 9 "But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness."
Matthew 26:28 "for this is my blood, which confirms the covenant between God and his people. It is poured out as a sacrifice to forgive the sins of many."
Col 1:13-14 "For he has rescued us from the kingdom of darkness and transferred us into the Kingdom of his dear Son, who purchased our freedom and forgave our sins."
Romans 8:1 "So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus."
We have already been forgiven. It's our choice whether or not we chose to receive it. "Repentance is what people who have already been forgiven practice" - Chris Brooks. We have already been forgiven.
Everyone can be forgiven for everything through Christ Jesus.
It's our decision to accept that forgiveness and then repent and turn away from our sin.
All those times when I couldn't bring myself to talk to Him. When the shame was crippling me from the inside out. When my sin was eating me alive....
He was right there saying "Come to me my wayward child, and I will heal your wayward heart." -Jeremiah 3:22. He was saying that He loved me, that He hurt with me, that He longed for me to draw near to Him.
"And so, dear brothers and sisters, we can boldly enter heaven’s Most Holy Place because of the blood of Jesus. By his death, Jesus opened a new and life-giving way through the curtain into the Most Holy Place. And since we have a great High Priest who rules over God’s house, let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ’s blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water." Hebrews 10: 19-22
I'm not perfect, I'm forgiven. I can go boldly before the father, having my guilty conscience cleansed with Christ's blood to make me clean. And, because I know grace and forgiveness, I can count Christ as the joy set before me. The joy that surpasses the pleasures of my sinful nature. It's not easy by any means, but "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.". I can't combat sin on my own, only with the power of God. And He will be by my side the whole way.
Look for part two coming up soon....
