The Year of Ashes

Most of the time I write my posts from the mountaintop. 

Now, at 2 in the morning, I write from the valley. It's a perfect picture of Ezekiel 37 in Clemson tonight. 

"The hand of the Lord was on me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the Lord and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. 2 He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry." Ezekiel 37:1-2

I am a mere skeleton. My flesh has worn away and I am completely open before the father. There is nothing I can hide behind anymore. Every sense of security I had has been burned away. All that's left is a pile of charred, dried up bones. 

I have dubbed this past year "The Year of Ashes".  Everything, every tree that I labeled as bearing "good" fruit was set ablaze. My relationship, my family, my friends, my future career, my morals, everything. On fire. Not all at once though. God knew I wouldn't be able to handle that. As the first tree set fire, he watched me carefully. He was waiting to see if I would turn to the fruit of the vine. Nope. I walked down my line and got my fruit from the next "good" tree. 

Then that one caught on fire from the first. 

This time I panicked. I ran to the next and jumped onto the limbs, wrapping my legs desperately around the trunk. As the roots started to turn black, I felt the sudden heat all around me. The smoke began to choke me and I let go, falling into the flames. Did that stop me? 

No. 

I ran, on fire, from tree to tree and watched hopelessly as they all burned to the ground. God, seeing that I was literally burning alive, called my name desperately and tried chasing me down. I ran further away from the vineyard. 

Into the valley of dry bones. 

Here, I can't hide from anyone. I have no skin to cover the heart of stone, no lips to fake a smile, no eye lids to unsee the sin. Yes, God sees me for who I am, but He always has. This time, I have to see it. I have to acknowledge what I've turned myself into. 

I have to accept that I didn't have to end up here. The fruit of the vine was there the entire time. Abundant life, peace, and joy were at my fingertips this entire year. I'm the one that chose not to partake in the feast. 

I'm writing this post in the valley because it's full of bones. And if you happen to be one of the skeletons lying here with me, I've got good news for you. Just read the rest of Ezekiel 37. 

He asked me, “Son of man, can these bones live?”

I said, “Sovereign Lord, you alone know.”

4 Then he said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! 5 This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath[a] enter you, and you will come to life.6 I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.’”

7 So I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. 8 I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them.

9 Then he said to me, “Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to it, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Come, breath, from the four winds and breathe into these slain, that they may live.’” 10 So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet—a vast army.

11 Then he said to me: “Son of man, these bones are the people of Israel. They say, ‘Our bones are dried up and our hope is gone; we are cut off.’ 12 Therefore prophesy and say to them: ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: My people, I am going to open your graves and bring you up from them; I will bring you back to the land of Israel.13 Then you, my people, will know that I am the Lord, when I open your graves and bring you up from them. 14 I will put my Spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land. Then you will know that I the Lord have spoken, and I have done it, declares the Lord.’”

I believe the first step to getting out of the valley is believing that the mountaintop exists. Right now I'm an anxious, depressed pile of scarred bones. But, I have full faith that the Lord will speak and his very breath will enter me, bringing me back to life just as it describes in this passage. He will attach tendons and flesh and skin that will not function to hide my scars, but display them, all healed, for his glory. Not only that, but I will stand with the rest of you as a holy army. Those slain by sin will be raised from death, redeemed, and brought back to life in Him. 

I haven't experienced it yet. I can't even see the mountaintop at 3 am. But I know for a fact, without a doubt, it's there. 

So for those of you in the valley, no matter how long your dry season has been, there is hope for your dry bones. All it takes is faith.